


Mishap and coincidence make a fool's luck

by boxofwonder



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Enemies to Friends, F/M, Gen, It's tough love, Lots of Cursing, Matchmaking, texting fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-16
Updated: 2018-07-16
Packaged: 2019-06-11 16:13:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15319278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boxofwonder/pseuds/boxofwonder
Summary: Daishou accidentally texts Kuroo instead of Mika-chan.Everything spirals from there.





	Mishap and coincidence make a fool's luck

**Author's Note:**

> Day 3 of catch-up madness and it's an old haikyuu fic! <3 (It is over two years old. WILD.)
> 
> I only brushed it up a little now. 
> 
> Dedicated to my friend Chala, who inspired this <3

d: So with a team like Nekoma it's, like

d: Their teamwork is superb, and their defense is impeccable.

d: So in a sport like volleyball where you lose when you let the ball drop, of course that's exactly as valuable as the ability to score many points!

d: So the tactic you use definitely depends on the kind of team you are.

k: ohoho?

d: no. no.

d: no this isnt

d: tell me youre not kuroo

k: i could do that

k: but itd be a lie

d: end me

k: oh but wouldnt that be such a shame

k: dont you feel relieved

k: after you finally admmitted how amazing my team is

d: shut up

d: THIS WASNT MEANT TO BE FOR YOU

k: oh?

d: no.

d: i see you typing

d: dONT

k: so you meant to tell someone else how amazing i am? was it burning under your fingernails so badly? how sweet

d: OHMYGOD

d: SHUT UP

d: i was only!! telling mika-chan!! about volleyball!!

d: as a teacher i need to be unbiased!!

k: mika-chan??

d: DONT CALL HER THAT

k: alright, alright

k: mika-chan as in, the girl who dumped you?

d: mika-chan as in, im teaching her about volleyball!

d: and mika-chan as in DONT. call her that

k: 'teaching her about volleyball'

k: is that what you call it these days

d: YOU ARE INSUFFERABLE

k: you sound rlly flustered

d: IM NOT

k: yes you are

d: SHUT! UP!

k: youre the one still texting me back~

d: youre the worst and your playing style SUCKS

k: thats not what you said before~

k: man you were texting so properly too

k: you really wanna impress her, huh

d: shut up

k: so, if you want some advice -

d: i DO NOT

k: cmon, ive never been dumped before

d: you never HAD a girlfriend before

k: touché

k: but im good at advice

d: I DONT! NEED IT!

k: sure thing~

k: but dont expect me to comfort you if someone else snatches her away before you can confess your undying love

[read: 5.21 p.m.]

k: aw cmon dont sulk

d: go to hell

 

\---

 

d: BOOF

k: what

d: nnnnooooo

d: ohmygod

d: i hate myself

k: hey so do i!

k: that makes something we have in common!

d: bite me

k: wouldnt mika-chan get jealous

d: ITS NOT LIKE THAT

k: oh?

d: dont

k: dont what?

d: dont 'oh' me

k: its just two simple letters, why are you so offended

d: its not just two letters!

d: i cant BELIEVE how much DISRESPECT you manage to pack into them

k: disrespect?

d: dont play innocent

d: why am i even texting you

d: go away

k: you go away

d: no YOU go away

k: you texted me first

d: IT WASNT MEANT FOR YOU

k: how does this keep happening

d: bad karma

k: thats what you get for your methods

d: oh shut up

d: dont start

k: i aint starting anything

d: yes you are

k: am not

d: are too

k: AM NOT

d: dont you have better things to do than to annoy me

k: dont you?

d: wow. so mature.

k: look whos talking. what does 'boof' even mean

d: nothing

d: its none of your business

k: want me to ask everyone what you meant when you sent it to me? im diligent

d: youre an asshole thats what you are

d: you send that to like show affection or idk

d: i didnt really get it

k: why, im flattered!

k: sorry tho, youre not rlly my type

d: i fuckin hate youk

k: so it was meant for mika-chan, huh

[read: 9.47 p.m.]

k: alright so its a touchy feelsy topic

k: so youre not back together?

k: but you wanna be.

k: tell me im wrong or ill assume im right

[read: 9.53 p.m.]

k: ah

k: thats rough

d: leave me alone

 

\---

 

d: [image attached]

k: i thought i told you you werent my type

d: ...

k: is that half a heart

k: here im completing it

k: [image attached]

d: wow

k: <3

d: showing someone your middle finger is so mature, really

k: sending half heart selfies to people is so mature huh

d: shut up

d: so

d: is it too cheesy

k: what?

d: sending this. to her. is that too cheesy

k: oh?

k: youre asking for my advice?

d: SINCE I MESSED UP AND TEXTED YOU AGAIN I MIGHT AS WELL GET SOMETHING OUT OF IT

k: is that so?

d: oh fuck off

d: this was a mistake bye

k: wait

k: its cute, okay

k: i think chicks dig this kinda stuff

k: its not too cheesy cause it seems heartfelt

k: honesty is good

d: so i should send it?

k: yeah and pray she wont send a middle finger back

d: tch, mika-chan is much more sophisticated than you

d: she'd never

k: so did ya send it

d: maybe

k: omg are you nervous

d: nope

k: youre not even subtle

d: SHUT UP

d: ohgod

k: ohgod?

d: THIS WAS A MISTAKE

d: IM NEVER LISTENIN TO YOU AGAIN

k: what happened? 

d: SHE SAW IT

k: and then?

d: NOTHING

d: SHE DID NOTHING

k: dude its been like what, a couple minutes

k: maybe shes like

k: doin her hair

d: ohgod she replied

k: whatd she reply

k: DONT LEAVE ME HANGING

k: dude

d: yeah

k: wHAT WAS THE REPLY

d: i told you she was better than youuuuu

k: she totally sent that corny heart back

d: yEAH

k: ew, couples

d: shut uppppp

d: were not

k: ...

d: shes so cute fuckin kill me

k: .....

d: dont '...' me!!

k: JUST TELL HER YOU LIKE HER

d: I CANT

k: WHY

d: CAUSE SHE ALREADY DUMPED ME

k: BEFORE YOU WENT ON WITH VOLLEYBALL LESSONS AND DISGUSTING SELFIES

d: fiuhrouirhgiuerhg

d: why am i talking about this with you

k: cause im awesome

d: lmao

k: dont 'lmao' me

k: RUDE

k: thanks to me you got your new phone background

d: howd you know i made it my phone background

k: ohmygod

k: i was kidding

k: so you really

d: SHUT UPPPPPPPPPPPP

d: I HATE YOU

k: DAISHOU AND MIKACHAN SITTING IN A TREE

d: GO AWAAAAAY

k: K

k: I

k: S

k: S

d: youre horrible

k: I

k: N

k: G

d: satisfied now?

k: kinda?

d: ohmygod

 

\---

 

k: howre things going with mikachan

d: whyre you texting me

k: i thought id relieve you of the burden to pretend youre texting the wrong number so you can talk about your undying love

d: holy shit what makes you think id voluntarily speak to you

d: you are insufferable

d: the only thing worse than your hair is your personality

d: leave me alone

k: ... wow, so its that bad

d: YOURE that bad

k: but you were like

k: acting like a couple and all

d: are you so pea-brained you dont understand the words 'leave me alone'

d: its no wonder nobodys ever had a crush on you

d: i can really understand why

k: alright reel it back in okay

k: jfc

k: low blow, alright?

k: low fucking blow.

k: its not my fault things are shitty for you

d: who said they were shitty

k: your hissy fit did

d: just leave me the fuck alone

k: what happened

k: last chance or im actually leaving and you can brew on your own

d: someone asked her out

k: what

d: SOMEONE ASKED HER OUT

d: are you DEAF

d: blind

d: ugh

k: but werent you like

d: i was just teaching her some things

d: it didnt mean anything

d: not to her at least

k: bullshit

k: tell me what happened

d: yeah

d: so you can taunt me and have a fieldtrip with it, eh

k: thats not my intention

d: yeah right

k: I want to help you.

d: oh, proper caps. impressive

k: dont be complicated now of all times

k: you like her, dont you?

d: what does it matter

d: it never mattered

d: I dont have time for this shit

d: its useless

k: hey

d: you know the thing is

d: i didnt feel like /this/ for her

d: before i started teaching her

d: like before it was all breezy

d: but now

k: now it hurts like a bitch to lose her

k: tell me. what happened.

d: shut up, im not giving you more details

d: i already said too much

k: ... jeez

k: daishou. the lack of girlfriends

k: its not for lack of girls crushing on me

k: its for lack of /me/ crushing on girls

k: you get it

d: oh

k: yeah, oh

k: so i trusted you with this and that you wont use it to backstab me

k: so trust ME when im trying to help you

k: what did she say

d: she told me someone asked her out

d: and if i thought she should say yes

k: ohmygod

k: and you told her to go for it or what

d: well if shes gonna jump at the next best person to ask her out

d: its obvious we werent on the same page

d: i told her im not her damn boss or something

d: and to do whatever she has to

k: you IDIOT

d: what

k: YOU GODDAMN FOOL

d WHAT!!

k: SHE WANTED YOU TO SAY NO

k: she was TESTING YOU

k: she wanted to see if you care enough to tell her NOT to go out with some rando

d: that doesnt make any SENSE

k: YOURE NOT MAKING SENSE

k: hOW CANYOU BE SO STUPID

k: whens the date

d: what

k: when is it

k: is it today

d: yeah

k: get your jacket

d: what

k: GET YOUR GODDAMN JACKET

k: ID TELL YOU TO BRING FLOWERS OR SOMETHING BUT YOU DONT HAVE THE TIME

k: and its not like it matters

k: did you ever tell her you fell for her truly and want her back

k: you didnt, right

d: it was obvious enough

d: you think id do all this shit for just anyone

k: ohmygod

k: youre hopeless

k: you should be grateful you have me

d: wow

k: ARE YOU WEARING YOUR JACKET

d: [image attached]

k: alright i guess that will do

d: wow dont break your back complimenting me

k: now go directly to her house. dont pass go, dont collect 200.

d: haha.

k: WHAT ELSE DID YOU THINK I MADE YOU PUT ON A JACKET FOR

k: shes probably as miserable as you are rn

k: now get moving

d: what for to be dumped again

d: she can go make out with that stupid guy from track

k: the daishou i know isnt a whimp

k: hed never let a chance slip him past for some stupid shit like pride

k: hed bend the rules until they almost break and tip shit in his favour

k: youre many things but you are no coward

k: prove me right

d: [image attached]

k: oh nice, youre on your way

d: are you having fun playing love guru

k: a little

k: ill only be satisfied once this is over and done tho

d: i hate this

d: what do i even tell her

k: what you told me

k: that spending more time with her made you fall for her even more and blabla and NOT TO DATE ANYONE ELSE

d: wow youre great at confessions

k: what can i say, its a talent

d: im sure 'and blabla' will help me win her

k: definitely

d: shit

d: I really dont wanna be rejected again

k: you wont

d: i cant do this

k: yeah you can

d: nO I CANT

d: cmon shes just gonna laugh in my face

d: im a good friend but like boyfriend

d: already failed that right

d: haha

d: man

d: thats depressing

k: you listenin? this is some grade a bullshit

k: dont even think that way

k: look i talk a lot of smack about you

k: i know every single weakness and flaw of yours

k: and you wouldnt make too bad a boyfriend if shes into assholes

k: but like assholes with a heart

k: I dunno youre trying your best okay

k: if that doesnt count then I dunno

k: and so did she actually. askin you about your passions

k: n even if not

k: friendships good too isnt it? at least youll be on the same page

d: woah

d: who are you and should i call the police

d: cause i think kuroo just became a murder victim

d: and youre a bad impersonator who just gave himself away

d: by being nice to me

d: and saying smart shit

k: YOULL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE

k: wow you just had to insult me huh

d: it was an invitation

k: for real tho

k: dont think that way

k: just tell her exactly what youre feeling

k: not trying at all would be pathetic

d: yeah

d: fuck

d: alright im doing this

d: i wish i had flowers

k: dont make the detour

d: do i look like im stupid

d: fuck what if im too late

k: be more optimistic

d: yeah wow nice

d: im dying

k: im p certain youre not

d: distract me so i wont implode

k: look at this [file attached]

d: is that a snake in a sweater

k: damn right it is

d: fuck it looks so happy

k: ikr

d: not good enough tho

k: uhhh

d: tell me about your love life

k: what

d: like, is there someone you got a crush on

k: oh come on

d: look im on the subway to go confess to a girl who will probably dump me for the second time

d: the least you could do is indulge me

d: apparently were on that level now

k: ugh

d: so. youre not into girls

d: did i get that right?

k: yeah

d: wait

d: YOU TOLD ME IM NOT YOUR TYPE

k: yeah???

d: im insulted now?

k: wOW REALLY

k: i mean THATS what youre concerned about? 

d: what else would i be concerned about

d: so whats your type then

d: if its not handsome guys like me

k: youre really offended over this, huh

d: mika-chan has better taste than you

d: ... i hope

k: well i cant say its better taste but you definitely seem to be her type

k: ugh idek what my type is

d: want me to set you up

k: wtf no i pass

d: so

d: theres someone you like

k: i didnt say that

k: ever considered that people can be perfectly happy being single

d: yeah you did

d: you deflect vehemently for someone perfectly happy tho

d: so spill

k: i loathe you

d: yeah likewise

d: so

k: dONT 'SO' ME

d: its so satisfying for you to be the one squirming for once

k: ew

d: its a taste of your own medicine

d: how does it taste, huh?

k: youre horrible

d: why thank you for the compliment <3

d: does he know youre into him?

k: of course not

k: and hell never be into me anyways

k: look its one thing to encourage you to man up and finally ask your crush to be with you WHEN THATS ALL SHES BEEN WAITING FOR

k: but just

k: leave me alone with it alright

k: there wont be a happy ending for me

d: blegh

d: man being whiny doesnt suit you

k: IM NOT BEING

k: youre

k: GOD

d: why thats quite flattering

k: shut up

d: look im just sayin

d: you kicked my ass for not taking a shot and speaking my mind

d: and then at the same time you dont do a thing

d: thats kinda pathetic

d: i didnt take you for a hypocrite

k: its different

d: its not

k: it is 

d: its nooooot

k: it is!!

d: no its nooooooot~

k: uuuuuuuuuugh

d: who is it

d: do i know him

k: uh

d: so yes

k: uhh??

d: send me a picture

k: NO

d: youre a bore

d: alright im here

d: ill annoy a name out of you later

k: i hate you

d: yeah likewise

d: wish me luck?

k: i would but you dont need it

k: go get your girl

k: its overdue

 

\---

 

d: [file attached]

k: so youre doing the disgusting heart together now huh

d: heh

d: yeah we are

k: man you look so happy

k: shes gorgeous

k: youre a lucky one

d: DAMN RIGHT I AM

d: gAH IM SO

k: happy?

d: YEAH

d: and i kinda

d: as much as i hate it

k: ohgod

d: you were right

d: and unfortunately that means

k: ohgod no

k: look im always this kind

k: no need to

d: i owe you

k: repay me

k: rEALLY THERES NO NEED

d: so now ill set you up with your mystery guy in turn

k: no

k: first of all, no

k: second of all, HELL NO

d: its a debt among gentlemen

d: also im disgusted by owing you anything so rlly im doing this for myself

k: YOU DONT OWE ME A THING

d: i owe you more than you know

d: so shut up

d: alright first checkpoint on my unfailable plan is -

k: no no no no no

d: i need his identity, and then we'll work from there

k: no

d: yes

k: nO

d: yES

k: gO AWAY

d: yOU GO AWAY

d: except dont

d: i wont let this rest until you send me a disgusting selfie of the two of you back

k: i hate myself

k: and i hate you

k: and i hate my life

k: i dont deserve this

d: yeah you do

d: and i hate you too

d: alright so will you tell me his name or do i need to tell your team about the Swing Incident

k: you wouldnt

k: not even you would stoop so low

d: its for a good cause

k: FINE

k: holy shit my life has just taken a turn for the worse

d: *for the better

d: this is gonna be fun!

 

**Author's Note:**

> Y'all bet Daishou makes it happen and then they go on the worst double date ever and Daishou and Kuroo throw hands over the pettiest shit and try to out-boyfriend each other.


End file.
